How to Write Vows: Tips and Real Examples

The concept of writing your own wedding vows sounds quite romantic until you’re staring at a blank page, wondering how to sum up your entire relationship without sounding cheesy. 

You must distill all your inside jokes, your hardest moments, the reasons you work, the future you’re choosing, into a few minutes of honest, meaningful words.

Great vows capture the honest, weird, beautiful reality of your love story. But to get them right, you don’t need to be a poet or professional writer.

This article will walk you through how to write vows, step by step.

Along the way, I’ll give you specific prompts, examples, and a few dos and don’ts that’ll make the whole thing personal and meaningful.

However, before we teach you how to write your own vows, here are some questions you should ask yourself first to get clarity when writing.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing

While saying your vows, you must speak your truth to the person you’re about to promise your life to. And to get there, you need clarity, real clarity. 

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself if you’re wondering how to write your vows in a poetic, but more importantly, a way that is true to your relationship.

1. When did I know I wanted to marry this person? (not the first date, not even the first “I love you,” think about the moment it clicked, probably a quiet Tuesday doing laundry, or when they showed up for you during your worst week, and you decided you wanted your life with them.)

2. What do they do that makes me feel safe, seen, and supported? (The best relationships don’t ask you to change your essence. They refine you. Think of real, tangible examples of how they made you better.

3. What have we survived together? (Think of the times that didn’t make it to Instagram, the argument that almost broke you, the financial rough patch, the long-distance phase, the grief you held together, etc.)

4. What promises actually matter to us? (This is the beating heart of your vows. Keep them specific, I promise to make you coffee the way you like it, even when I’m mad, will make your partner happier than a generic, “I promise to love you forever.”

5. What do I hope we’re laughing about in 30 years? (Envision your older selves with gray hair, inside jokes, maybe grandkids, maybe just plants, and imagine what your shared history would be.)

Step-by-Step: How to Write Your Vows

Here are some tips on how to write wedding vows that you could follow and make sure your vows come together in a structured format. 

1. Start with a memory or personal story

There’s no harm in starting your vows with “I stand before you today,” but you’re not delivering a speech at a board meeting. It’s the most personal promise you’ll ever make. 

Open it with something personal, a memory, a moment, something that happened between just the two of you that instantly puts your love into context.

It could, for example, be the night you got caught in the rain, soaked and freezing, and they gave you their hoodie even though they were shivering, or the way you both completely bombed your first cooking attempt together but still laughed like idiots while eating cereal for dinner.

Stories naturally flow into feelings, realizations, and promises. 

And if you’ve got all these memories swirling around in your head but don’t know how to structure them into paragraphs, use Undetectable AI Chat.

It will help you brainstorm and organize your thoughts, or even turn a voice-note-style brain dump into a meaningful story.

2. Express what your partner means to you

This part of “how to write vows” is the emotional core of your vows, who this person is to you, and why them, out of everyone else in the world.

It is also a great place to include the little, almost invisible things they do that carry weight.

For example, you could mention how they never let your phone die because they always carry a backup charger.

Or how they know the exact way you take your coffee without ever asking. Or how they always keep their cool when you spiral, these are the quiet things that scream love.

Use real examples. The quirks, the routines, the tiny, meaningful things they do that have slowly become part of your life.

3. Make meaningful promises

Most people get the promises section wrong. They go too vague or too poetic.

“I promise to love you forever.” Nice. But what does that actually look like on a random Tuesday when you’re both tired, the laundry isn’t done, and you’ve already argued about what to eat twice?

Meaningful vows are grounded in the day-to-day reality of being in a relationship. Look at the following examples for inspiration:

• I promise to never let us go to bed angry, unless it’s 2am and we’re both hangry. Then I promise to order pizza and try again tomorrow.”
• I promise to listen when you need to vent, even if I have no idea how to fix it.
• I promise to keep finding new ways to make you laugh.
• I promise to keep showing up. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

These are the kind of promises that say, I see the whole you, and I’m in this with you.

4. Look to the future

In your vows, you must also zoom out and talk about where you’re headed together. 

It shouldn’t just include the dreamy version with sunsets and vacations. You should also talk about the honest, everyday future you’re building as a team.

It’s a commitment to a shared life, with all its ups, messes, laughter, and unknowns.

Again, here are some ways you could do that:

• I look forward to building a life where hard days end with us on the couch, sharing takeout and watching the same shows we’ve seen a hundred times.
• I can’t wait to sit on a porch with you at 70, still making fun of each other, still sneaking snacks we’re not supposed to have.
• I look forward to raising kids with you (or fur babies, or plants—we’ll figure it out), and teaching them what love looks like by how we treat each other every day
• I am excited to build a place with you where we can laugh, argue, cry, celebrate, and just be ourselves.

5. Close with a strong, heartfelt sentence

Your final line should leave your partner (and everyone else listening) with one clear, powerful takeaway, why you’re standing there and what it all comes down to.

It’s your mic-drop moment, but you don’t need to overthink it.

You only need to speak the absolute truth that makes your partner smile through tears because they know you meant every word.

Here are some examples of the closing sentences:

• At the end of every day, no matter what changes, I’ll still choose you.
• This life, with you, however messy, loud, or quiet, is the only one I want.
• I choose you. On the best days, on the worst days, and on all the ordinary ones in between.

6. Style Tips for Great Vows

Now that you know what to say, let’s talk about how to say it. The best vows sound like they could only come from you. 

If you’re goofy, be goofy. If you’re tender, be tender. If you curse in daily life, it’s okay to throw in a (tasteful) swear for emphasis. It’s important to bring the real you to your vows. The “You” that your partner fell in love with.

Think about where you want to pause for effect, or where a shorter sentence can break up a longer one.

If you’re not sure, read it out loud and wherever you trip over your own words or run out of breath, tweak it.

And of course, it is impossible to cover your entire love story in 90 seconds.

You will find yourself drifting into full-blown storytelling mode while writing your vows, but make sure to cut down all tangential thoughts.

You can use Undetectable AI Chat to rephrase any clunky sentences and fix flow in your writing.

Make sure to check out our AI Detector and Humanizer conveniently in the widget below!

Real Examples of Vows

Now, I’ll demonstrate some real examples of vows written using Undetectable AI Chat.

You must, however, prompt the chat with some context about your relationship so it can write what resonates with you.

Prompt no 01:

“Write heartfelt wedding vows from a woman who has been with her partner for 10 years, starting from high school. She wants to reflect on their journey through long-distance college years, early career struggles, and growing into adults together. Keep the tone reflective and deeply personal.”

Prompt no 02: 

“Write wedding vows from a man who’s funny, sarcastic, and emotionally intelligent. He’s marrying his best friend after living together for 5 years. They’ve adopted a dog and binged every Netflix series imaginable. The tone should be witty with heartfelt moments woven in.”

Prompt no 03: 

“Write wedding vows from a non-binary person to their fiancée, who supported them through their coming out journey. The tone should be intimate, vulnerable, and honest, focused on chosen family, personal growth, and the deep emotional bond they’ve built.

FAQs About Writing Vows

Final Thoughts

Now you’ve got the tips that summarize how to write vows your way.

In summary, talk about your journey, what makes your relationship work, what you promise moving forward, and say it all in a way only you can.

If it comes from the heart, it’ll land exactly where it should.

Writing something this personal takes time, and a little help doesn’t hurt.

You can use Undetectable AI Chat to brainstorm ideas and get past that annoying “blank page” moment. It’s built to generate authentic, human-sounding texts that still feel like you.

Try Undetectable AI Chat today.